Hot Daddy Model Clayton Paterson, 67, Genuinely Seems Like He Didn't Have Gay Feelings Until Middle Age
He's living the Ft. Lauderdale Hot Daddy Dream now, but well into his fifties, he was still married to a woman. Maybe someone can really "turn gay" later in life. Fascinating!
Hi there, Caftaners. I hope you had a good weekend whether you celebrated Easter (as I did with my family in the Boston area) or not. Before we get into the latest chat, I want to share this piece I had on New York magazine’s website last week. It’s about the HIV meds crisis in Florida (which I just did a Caftan interview about) and how it could very well spread to other states, which would be a nightmare. Give it a read if you have a sec. Are you someone who depends on ADAP? I once was, and I may very well be in the future. Who knows?
As for this week’s interview, I’ll be blunt: When I somehow came across Clayton Paterson online—I think it was this little piece on him that Queerty did a few years ago—I just went “Wow, what a hot daddy!” I’m sure that those of you who are daddies out there agree with me that daddies can be VERY attracted to other daddies. In fact, for me, the true sign of a hot daddy is that, when I see one, I forget that I am a daddy myself and I want that daddy to throw me all over his apartment just like certain hot daddies did to me (I mean for me!) when I was 27!
Well, after interviewing Clayton last week, I think I can safely say that that isn’t going to happen, but I still enjoyed chatting with him. Something about his story really fascinates me: Unless he is being disingenuous with me and/or himself—and I truly didn’t get that vibe—I think he might be the first person I’ve ever talked to who genuinely didn’t seem to have gay feelings until well into middle-age. And he acted on them!
I think it’ll be clear once you start reading that Clayton—who has 103,000 followers on Instagram—is one of the more, well, normal people I have interviewed. In fact, to traffic in blatant essentialism for minute, I almost felt like I was interviewing a straight guy. Clayton has a very deep and businesslike voice, the kind of voice you’d expect from a handsome, square-jawed man his age who was a commercial airline pilot or perhaps the governor of a state like Ohio (his home state) for several decades. He was very nice on the phone and I’m grateful he agreed to chat with me. Perhaps you will see him in an upcoming runway show, or on his Instagram (which he says he’s tired of), or the next time you go see the Gay Men’s Chorus of South Florida, which sounds really fun. Or maybe at Daddy Disco at Hunters in Wilton Manors, not far from where he lives in Ft. Lauderdale.
Before we begin, can I make a little request? I am always working hard to bring you interviews with what I consider big fun names that everyone’s heard of…
But I’ve learned in my five years doing this Caftan thing that I have more success when I go through a friend or some contact than when I go through official gatekeepers, who—understandably so—are probably like, “Who the hell is this random middle-age queen with her Caftan whatever it is?”
So if you ARE or KNOW one of those big names, would you tell them about my Caftan thing and ask if they’re game? Then drop me a line at timmurphynycwriter@gmail.com.
The other kind of guy I’m really interested in is the older gay guy who’s some kind of pillar of the queer community or has just done or is doing something really heroic in, say, Indianapolis or Santa Fe or rural Mississippi or some other country—a bit like Florida ADAP hero Michael Rajner. It is simply TOO EASY for me to constantly be interviewing guys I’ve known for years here in NYC, no matter how amazing they are (like John Kelly) and how much I love them.
The other request is a tired one: Please consider becoming a paid subscriber for $5/month if you’ve been liking this project for a while. This Caftan thing—constantly being in conversation with other older gay men to give us insights and options for living a good older gay life—is honestly the only thing (other than writing novels) I would like to be working on in the years ahead. It’s my dream that Caftan alone could sustain me, so—again, only if you really like Caftan—please help me get there. As it is, I spend far too much time on it when I should be pursuing paid gigs, but that’s because I love doing it so much.
Okay enough with the maudlin plea! Here’s the HOT DADDY Clayton Paterson!
Clayton, thanks for chatting today. So—you divide your time between Ft. Lauderdale (hereafter simply called FLL) and New Jersey?
No, I live in FLL full time now but I used to live and work in New Jersey. I’m a big swimmer and I love the ocean, so I wanted to take advantage of year-round ocean access and came here.
You live in the gay retirement mecca of Wilton Manors?
My boyfriend has a home there but I’m closer to the ocean, right on the Middle River…
I’m just two miles from Wilton Manors so I can ride my bike there. I have a 2-bedroom, 2-bath condo with a view of the river.
What is its decor style?
I’m not an interior designer. I have no interest in it. I would say very minimalist. I don’t want stuff. When I got divorced, she pretty much took everything and I had to start over. I have some beautiful furniture friends gave me. I would call it some upscale and some downscale. I am not a good gay. I came out so late in life and my ex-wife handled everything in terms of decorating the house. I had absolutely no interest.
I love that you’re not a good gay that way. It’s very refreshing. Do you have a face regimen routine?
I don’t. Even though my career was at Johnson & Johnson and I worked on skin-care brands. I just wash my face with soap.
Your skin looks great.
I do avoid the sun. And I think a lot of it is staying in shape and keeping the weight off. I have three principles of health—sleep, exercise and broccoli, which I eat virtually every day. And I exercise almost every day. I’m sometimes surprised that, at 67, my skin is so tight, with no sagging. I don’t know what to attribute it to.
What’s your ethnic or racial background?
I had my 23 And Me done and I’m 96% United Kingdom.
Wow, so you’re a real WASP.
I’m very homogenous, yes.
Walk me in great detail through a fairly typical day.
I wake up usually between 7 and 7:30. If I don’t have a modeling job, I lie in bed and do my Wordle and Duolingo. I’m studying Spanish. Then I read the news and have breakfast around 9—oatmeal with granola, Greek yogurt and berries. I don’t drink coffee, tea, alcohol, juice or soda. Just water. Then I’ll do more Duolingo and maybe more Instagram scrolling or posting, although I haven’t posted in quite a while. Then around 11am I’ll go to either the gym in our condo or to the local Crunch and do my hourlong routine. Usually I do three days in a row of strength training, then cardio on the fourth day. But if I get a modeling job, it forces me to take a day off from the gym, which I love.
I’ve noticed recently that when I went a whole week without doing a body part, when I picked it back up, if I loaded on more weight than in the past, I hit it easily. I think it’s from the rest time.
They do say that, periodically, you should take a week off.
Then I’ll come back from the gym and have lunch. If I’m inspired I’ll ride my bike to the beach and have a swim. Or if my boyfriend is in town, I might go over there and play some pickleball. [More on him in a second.] Or I’ll take a nap. In the evening, I watch PBS Newshour. Then I’ll watch some TV and go to bed.
I’m also in the South Florida Gay Men’s chorus so I’ll practice a bit. We just had our sold-out Abba concert, first at the Parker, then at the Sunshine Cathedral, which is an LGBTQ-inclusive church where we practice. It was so joyous.
The audience was hooting, hollering and dancing with us. Just a joyous time. We’re in Florida, very much a red state. It’s heavy here, so to have that kind of lightness and fun for a little bit was wonderful.
You have a deep voice. Are you a baritone?
No, I’m a bass, which is even lower. A lot of oohs and ahhs and pop-pop pop-pop.
What do you wear at the gym?
Pretty baggy stuff. I always wear tank tops. Sometimes I think I should wear short shorts, but…nah.
Is there good eye candy at your gym?
My Crunch is totally gay. Older gays my age. A few young ones. But it’s Wilton Manors.
Which is a gay retirement community.
Right. It’s rare to see a woman at my gym.
Do you chit-chat with other older gays there?
I do. I go there when I really need to leave the condo complex. I see friends there. But I’m pretty serious about my workout so I don’t chat too much.
Who’s the boyfriend? Can you name him?