A Russian Queer Exile in the U.S. Talks About What Rightward Swings Under Putin and Trump Have (and Don't Have) In Common
"I don't have any more outlets in terms of where to go next. I can't spend my whole life moving around the world."
Hey Caftaners! Hope you had a good weekend. Did any of you go to one of the more than 1,000 anti-Trump/Musk Hands Off! rallies that took place Saturday? I was really heartened to see such great turnout in cities all over the country. (Can't say I saw a lot in the South except for a few major cities like Atlanta and Louisville.) As much as New Yorkers protesting Trump is not particularly unusual, it was still great to march on Saturday (in the drizzle, no less!) with what was estimated to be a whopping 100,000 people chock-a-block all the way down Fifth Avenue from 42nd St to 23rd St.
Let's hope Saturday created forward momentum to fight back this coup.
And speaking of coups, today I have a chat for you with a queer thought leader who's been living in exile from Putin's anti-LGBTQ Russia for more than a decade now. He's actually someone I've known for a long time and have, in the past, actually interviewed him under his real name. But now that so many U.S. noncitizens are afraid of speaking out against the current administration, he asked at the top of our call last week—to my surprise, but also to my understanding—if I kept both him and his workplace anonymous. So I am honoring that wish because I think the interview still holds a lot of valuable insights about how things here are playing out, or might play out, both akin to how things have gone in Russia as well as differently, given that we are in fact two profoundly different countries.
I'll also note that I have lined up for later this week two interviews with gay men "of a certain age" I'm certain many of you have heard of...so stay tuned for those, I'm very excited to do them this week!
Until then, enjoy the week and this talk with my thoughtful anonymous friend.
X, thanks for agreeing to talk today. I'll only identify you so far as to say that you are not merely an ordinary Russian immigrant but one that has engaged in activism and public thought both in Russia and in the decade you have been here. Let me start by asking: What do you make of the past 2-plus months here since Trump was inaugurated?
X: Nothing has come as a surprise. It was all laid out in Project 2025, even if we didn't know the level it would reach in just the first two months. Their rounding up immigrants who are here legally just because they exercised their First Amendment right—that's the biggest setback so far from the immigration angle. It's reminiscent of Putin's policies in the mid-2000s when he started suppressing protest, freedom of speech and media. But now in the U.S. it seems like they are operating with impunity because they're ignoring court orders.
It's also very emotional being in and working with the queer and trans community right now. They're trying to erase all people who don't fit their agenda and their binary view of gender. Putin created scapegoats the same way. He started with small things to poison and agitate the Russian mind, like when in 2013 he passed a law that conjoined being gay with pedophilia. So right now in the U.S. it's very uneasy and a lot of immigrants right now feel very unsafe.
You actually came to the U.S. to be free from persecution for being LGBTQ and speaking your mind, and now you have at least some of that fear here. Do you feel betrayed by America?
No, because I've known about [the tendency to be right-leaning in] American politics for a long time. If you're an educated person who's interested in history, you can always see the parallels. Part of the U.S. has always been [right-leaning]. So I don't feel betrayed but I feel that I don't have any more outlets [in terms of where to go next]. I can't spend my life moving all over the world.
But I will say, when this persecution was happening in Russia, at least I was in my home country. I knew that if I stopped [being a public LGBTQ figure there], I could at least go about my life. But I couldn't betray my principles by doing that.
As for here, I don't think the U.S. is going to repeat exactly what's happened in Russia. It's not possible for a lot of reasons.
That's interesting. Why?
Russia has lived under kings, czars, emperors and the general secretaries of the Communist party. We only had 10 years of a liberal honeymoon in the [post-Soviet] nineties. And that mentality of the rule of law being set by a king or dictator has not been overcome. Here, on the other hand, Trump is trying to undermine the democratic system. But capitalism is always vulnerable to stock market changes, and if something goes the wrong way, it could be a pivotal moment when the people who've supported Trump start losing money. And then there's the price of eggs, gas and mortgages, as well as Medicaid, Medicare and Social Security. It could lead to a revolution against the president because people were not delivered so much of what they were promised. But in Russia, political indifference has always been in the blood.
So I think it'll be terrible for some time here, but we could still see protest and resistance from within his administration, Congress, other federal agencies—even the military, especially after Trump's cabinet [seemingly] inadvertently leaked their Signal communications to The Atlantic journalist.
It's just a different system here. The Russian economy has always been under the state or ruled by oligarchs, which isn't historically the case here.
Are you in touch enough with friends and family in Russia to know what daily life for LGBTQ people is like there now?
It's completely terrible. Queer life is totally underground. There are constant raids, harassment and arrests, like it was here pre-Stonewall. And authorities will post the identities of people they prosecute on social media. Most of the politically active queer people I knew there have left. Some are here in the U.S., some in [the country of] Georgia, some in Portugal or Argentina. Some were invited to universities or PhD programs in different countries. And this includes core activists who once said "we will never leave Russia."
I was reading a piece by the [trans Russian exile writer] M. Gessen who talked about how many Russian celebs who resisted Trump are now living in exile.
Yes, a lot of prominent pop and rock singers, on the iconic level of Madonna, have left, but that's mostly because of disagreeing with the war in Ukraine. A lot of them wanted to avoid being drafted.
Is the easiest country to get to Georgia?
Currently, the chances of getting out of Russia are very slim. It's more like the Soviet era, when you had to have a special visa to leave. Some people leave by traveling to Europe as tourists, but you need money to do that. And surrounding countries like Georgia have started being more resentful toward Russians [because of the influx], so there's a lot of document checking at the border.
It sounds a bit like people who didn't get out of Germany in time in the 1930s, although maybe not so horrific, obviously.
Yes. But I still see Instagram videos where queer people in Russia are being harassed on the street for their appearance. Also, horrifically, they're having a revival of the Soviet era, when people reported other people to the authorities.
You mean for being LGBTQ?
Mostly it's for not looking "traditional."
Someone can be arrested just for not looking traditional?
It's not a criminal charge—it's more administrative, where they are going to start a record on you. You could also be harassed or beaten by the police, because nobody cares.
So there's no vibrant above-ground gay life anywhere anymore?
There still is some, but—like, there used to be prominent Russian drag queens on TV shows all the time. A lot of them now don't dress in drag anymore. That's a big indicator that the gay club culture succumbed to the government.
And this is even in Moscow and St. Petersburg?
There might be some clubs still open but the raids have become so severe. I don't know how people still have enjoyment or fun. Everyone's back in the Iron Closet.
Do you think that kind of repression could happen here?
They're suppressing trans people here now the way they suppressed queer people during the McCarthy era. They're othering trans people and Palestinian or Arab queer people. But I think white cisgender gay people are going to be okay. You have to remember that the Russian government is centralized while here states have a lot of independence, which means that queers who have the option can move from one state to another. I strongly recommend you read a new book by Nico Lang called American Teenager, in which he interviews trans kids from anti-trans states like Texas, Florida and Alabama about how they're still finding joy. So I see resiliency here. And we also have to remember that Trump did not win by a landslide. Ultraright people who've been so excited about what he's been doing these past few months will come to the point where they don't have money to eat. Capitalism can't survive without consumer culture.
Do you think there was ever a point when more pushback could've defeated Putin?
Some people resisted—there were a lot of big worker strikes in the nineties—but not enough, because that's the problem with political culture in Russia. Most of the people who resisted lived in the big cities and were more informed. But most people missed the iron grip. They wanted somebody to tell them what to do. They didn't know how to cope in a new democratic, capitalistic system.
Here in the U.S., yes, this moment is very important. Some big companies need to get some balls. I read today about some law firms who are afraid to represent people or entities who oppose Trump. Well, that's what happened in Russia—anticipatory obedience.
And that's a big problem. Protests are good but we've seen for a long time here in the U.S. that they are not sufficient. We need to see students and teachers start to walk out of schools, accountants walk out. I myself stopped going to Target and now I go to Costco. People need to come out of their comfort zone and do something besides blaming the Democrats, which is not helpful. We all know that both parties suck.
Do you think the level of fightback in the U.S. is where it needs to be? [This interview took place before the Hands Off! protests of April 5.]
Well, lawsuits are happening and judges are blocking what the administration is trying to do. The administration can't go on ignoring the court orders forever. But overall, resistance here should be bigger. All the time, I hear, "We want to do something but we're afraid of losing our Social Security." Well, you're going to lose everything anyway! People in the U.S. who are comfortable are thinking, "Oh, we better just mind our own business and play by the rules." No! You cannot. When the Democrats say, "Oh, let's confirm all Trump's appointees because that shows we want to work with them." No! You're delusional! Reagan is probably tossing and turning in his grave right now to see our current leader turning toward Russia. People need to wake up and start playing nasty. The pivotal point is going to be the midterms, if there are even fair and legitimate elections by then.
What would you say to those cis white gays who you said are not being targeted, at least for the time being?
Well, you know the famous poem that goes "First they came for the Socialists..." I'd say to them, "You need to wake up." They think they're secure now, but if they start targeting one group, nobody is safe. It wasn't that long ago that gay people weren't allowed to marry or serve in the army. You may thing you're okay because you're cisgender and white. But in this country, privilege is only determined by the amount of money in your pocket.
What should people be doing or not doing?
Pay attention! Find the person you know who's maybe trans or an immigrant and talk to them. Ask them what they're going through. Be politically involved in your local community. Don't just sit on your ass and go to Whole Foods. Talk to your neighbor who might be a queer immigrant from Saudi Arabia or Syria. Be curious and educated and learn something that will help broaden your perspective on the world. I try to learn from everyone—even from conservative people I know.
Really?
All the time. My mom always taught me to treat people equally and have no preconceived notion about them. I'm always open to talk, curious to learn, and then people grow to trust you and start asking questions about your own story. I've had people who voted for The Orange ask me to educate them about trans people. You have to greet people without prejudice. It's part of my mission to change the world. I don't think that most people are transphobic or homophobic by default. I know people who voted for Trump in November but are still willing to listen.
What do you think motivated them to vote for Trump?
The economy. Most of them are not immigrant-phobes or racists per se. It's mostly that they don't feel seen. And some actually thought that Orange and his Tesla ghoul were going to give them money to spruce up their house. That blows my mind. They really think they're going to have a better quality of life.
Also, Trump is unconventional. He didn't come out of politics. So he comes off as an "outsider." Of course, some Trump voters are inherently racist and believe that white people are getting wiped out. But mostly I think it's because they thought he was going to change the economy for the better.
What are you doing for self-care in this more stressful time?
I've realiazed since I left Russia that I can't afford to be afraid. The amount of fear I felt in Russia overtook my whole life, but even in that fear, I found joy. I'm a positive person by nature. I can always find something to cheer me up. I enjoy my gardening. That brings me a lot of joy, believe me. It may sound bold and goofy, but I'm like a phoenix. I always resurrect myself. I'm like an old Russian babushka!
I'm not going to lie and say that I don't feel vulnerable and hurt, but I can't live in that feeling. That's what happened with a lot of Russian queers. They went into victim mode and they gave up. If you're beaten physically, the wounds can heal, but if they break you mentally, you can't ever go back. I have purpose in this life. I limit my intake of the national news because it makes me sick. I try to stay focused on the good things I can do locally.
I also love having a streak where I watch old queer movies like Trick or It's My Party every day for two months. That gives me pleasure. •
Thanks for reading, Caftaners! See you in a few days. xTim